


We Go Up, We Go Down

by whirlinground



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, Drama, Eventual Smut, F/M, Frenemies, Gen, Multi, Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-29
Updated: 2020-09-06
Packaged: 2021-03-02 01:34:46
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 8,610
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23916874
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/whirlinground/pseuds/whirlinground
Summary: An AU Bellarke fic set in the modern-day. Rated E for adult language and graphic sex.Getting the opportunity to start a not-for-profit she has dreamed of for years had put Clarke on cloud nine. But when someone else is tasked for the same project, it's like an arrow to a balloon and she comes crashing down. Can she manage? How will this affect the project?I do not own these characters or anything you may recognize.Published on Fanfiction.net as well, by me. A part if Bellarke Bingo!
Relationships: Bellamy Blake/Clarke Griffin
Comments: 2
Kudos: 17
Collections: Bellarke Bingo





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hey there,
> 
> Given the current state of the world and the fact that tomorrow is my birthday, I decided I’d not only push updates for my current published stories but give you two new ones! That’s right, I now have four published works up and a fifth in the starting process. They are all a little different, so if you like my style I hope you enjoy the expanded reading options. 
> 
> Please, be safe. Stay sane and enjoy life as best you can in these times. I hope I'm helping keep you entertained!

“You’re insufferable, you know that, right?” She cocked her hip and eyebrow in sync. Her eyes fixated on him in a way that intended to hurt. Dryly, she rolled her eyes and turned away from him, back to Maya. 

“We can do this project without him.” Her tone is dry and damn near rude. 

“Okay.” Maya meekly agreed clearly not wanting to get involved. 

“Actually,” A voice came from out of the office two doors down. “... you can’t.” Their boss stepped into the hallway and looked less than amused. 

“Marcus-” She began. “Kane, I mean. You can’t seriously insist I work on such a big project with this pompous asshole?” Clarke waved a finger at Bellamy as if he wasn’t a human with feelings. 

“Actually, I can and I do and so does your mother.” The end of that sentence shut her up instantly. Bellamy cracked a smile but tried hard not to. 

Kane rubbed a hand over his face and sighed, a bit more lax in posture now. “Look, I don’t know when you kids decided to hate one another but this isn’t a damn playground or school hallway. This is a business, one I have run for longer than your petty little feud and one that will still stand long after you two move on. So if you can’t do this one simple job together, then maybe we need to let you both find new jobs?” And with that, both Clarke and Bellamy felt like they were being looked down upon by an angry father figure. Though Clarke would never admit it, she felt bad that suggestion had even come up at all. She knew Bellamy. She knew what this job meant to him and his family as well as how dedicated to it he was. Whereas she was more or less forced into her position. 

“I’m sorry Miss Vie, you can go back to work. I’ll deal with these two.” Kane bid the girl a smile and she promptly took that chance to dip out of the tension. Before he could add to his tangent against the two of them, Clarke stepped forward. 

“You’re right, I’m sorry. We’ll work together and we will do a great job.” Her tone is sincere but lacking something or more masking something. She looked to his face, looking for approval. He nodded, no smile. That was all she was going to get. 

“Good. Go home, you can start tomorrow.” He dismissed them much earlier in the day than their normal hours but they didn’t argue. Bellamy loitered though, clearly wanting to talk to him when Clarke left but she wouldn’t let him. 

“Trust me. Just go home.” Was that a verbal olive branch? She did know Marcus well, he was more or less her stepfather without the formalities. He shrugged, raised his hands in defeat then turned away from her, leaving for the day. Clarke finished up a few things herself before doing as she was told and leaving for the day. 

* * *

Morning came far too soon and Clarke rolled out of bed with less enthusiasm than normal. She knew she’d have to spend the day with Bellamy. That wasn’t a big deal, one day. The problem was that this one day was only the beginning of what would likely be months if not years. Clarke, Bellamy, Maya, and Monty were tasked with planning and overseeing the renovation of three floors of The Ark. The four of them were only the head of the team that would undertake this project. The Ark was a thirty-seven-floor multi-purpose skyscraper owned and operated under the Arkadian Enterprises brand name which happened to be owned by Marcus Kane. This metal and glass stack of pancakes housed everything from stores and offices to luxury apartments. Of course, the cherry at the top was a trio of lavish if not overly opulent penthouses, the largest of the three was home to Markus himself and the lovely ‘wife he never actually married’ Abigail Griffin. Abby also just so happened to be Clarke’s mom. 

Kane spoke the truth the day before, that Bellamy and Clarke used to at least get along. See, the two have known each other for around fourteen years now, give or take. When Clarke was sixteen, her father passed away in a very tragic and freak accident. After that, her mother pushed her to take all sorts of group classes and therapy sessions to make sure she could heal. One of the many programs she was put into actually worked out to be the best course of action for her, and it also happens to be where she met Bellamy and his little sister Octavia. It was a mixed group that varied in ages from six to twenty that provided education and an outlet for all levels of teenage angst and trauma. They did group activities that gave life experience, as well as taught a variety of things like kickboxing, mixed martial arts, art classes and they also provided therapy. Clarke really connected with the program and thrived from it. Bellamy was a bit more reluctant but he did it for his mother and sister, as he did everything. 

During the two years she participated, they got along fine. Clarke would even babysit Octavia often and their families connected well, or at least Clarke connected well with the Blake family. There wasn’t much to connect to on her side, her father died and her mother was climbing into the bottom of prescription bottles. The Blake family felt like a surrogate family to her. Aurora was the sweetest woman in the world and Octavia was more of a friend than a little kid she babysat. It helped that she was only five years her junior.

With a heavy sigh, Clarke shook her thoughts of the past and looked in the mirror. Her skin is milky and dry with the winter season. A grimace spread across her features before she put herself into motion and continued her morning routine. After a much-too-hot shower and a muffin chased by flat black coffee, she took off to work. Her shitty little Nissan made the journey into the center of the city every day, chugging along. Clarke lived downtown, in an older part of the city, almost purposefully far from work. 

Relinquishing her little car to the valet, Clarke moved into the lobby of The Ark. A grand tower that reflected every bit of light from the sky above onto the city below it. It wasn’t the tallest thing in the world, of course, but man did it feel like it when you stood at the mouth of the empire. 

“Miss Griffin.” A nod from the doorman was her daily. 

“Hi Edgar.” She planted a kiss on the old man’s cheek, something she had been doing for years before heading inside. Entering the building was a tourists favorite site. Everything was so sleek and high end without being overly ostentatious. Black marble and clean brushed metal made up most of the interior. It was surprisingly warm for how colorless it seemed to be. The first four floors of the tower were shops and eateries in a very open old-world mall-like format. It was the only thing most people who visited would ever see. Clarke navigated through an already busy lobby to the private elevators deep within the back of the building. She scanned her badge up against the console at the door and the elevator dinged open for her. 

“Hold it.” A voice barked at her, and she did, out of habit. Though, when Bellamy rounded the corner and joined her on the elevator, she quickly had regret and thought she should have let him wait. She sighed, rolled her eyes, and moved off to the side as if she couldn’t get far enough away from him. He leaned into her space and pressed two buttons, for each floor they were going to. She hadn’t even hit the button for where she wanted to go, yet he knew which floor. The buttons for floors 23 and 25 illuminated. Floors 22 through 25 were all office space for their company specifically and building management for The Ark. Clarke was part of PR and HR for the company, whose main office was in this tower. She was hired on at the request of her mother when she was eighteen. She did mostly odd jobs and never really had a job title while she went through college for Business and Social Work. Once she graduated with her Bachelors she was hired officially, again at the behest of her mother. 

Clarke had been very familiar with the building as her father was the head of the team that took over renovations for it in her childhood. Kane was given ownership from his grandmother back when Clarke was just a kid. Her father and Marcus Kane were best friends, and after his passing, Abby and Marcus found their friendship bloom into something else. Kane helped keep Abby sober after her bender on opiates, so Clarke never really disliked their relationship but it didn’t help in how much she missed her father. She could appreciate that her mother was happy though.

The ding of the elevator brought her out of her stupor and someone joined them in the elevator. The presence of one other soul somehow alleviated the unspoken tension. It was back though as they got off a few floors later and they still hadn’t reached her floor. It wasn’t soon enough before they did, and she brashly made her exit. She didn’t bother sharing a word with him, much less a glance. Something about him made her blood boil with rage. After her normal work routine for the morning, she had a meeting with HIM and the rest of the team that was on this project. On the twenty-fourth floor, which was the one floor that separated them, they all convened in a massive meeting room. Marcus took the head of the table. To his left, Bellamy and to his right, Clarke. He introduced the project folder before relinquishing the floor to Clarke. She stood to take post, but he quickly added something to the mix. 

“Miss Griffin and Mr. Blake will be spearheading this, together.” Tension fell on the room like a piano in an ACME cartoon and everyone could feel it. She shot her faux-step-father a look that could kill before moving to the head of the table. Beside her, Bellamy stood unphased. 

She brushed off her annoyance, or tried to and looked to the group in front of her. Thirty-something people, all of whom had a part in this project. 

“Right, so most of you know me.” She said blandly, as she was known for bad reasons. Reasons unfair to her. The spoiled boss’s daughter, even though she was neither his daughter nor spoiled. She turned her focus to the positive though. Her dream was finally coming true. 

“This project means the world to me, and I really look forward to seeing this come to life.” The monologue brewing inside her said so much more but she knew how it would be received so she didn’t bother. 

“Let’s get down to business.” She said, not letting Bellamy say anything. He didn’t need to. Her dream come true was just another workday to him. They all took their seats and went over the folders in front of them. The layout for what they were doing, the floorplan, timeline and roadmap were all discussed. The meeting lasted a good two hours before they called it for lunch. Clarke’s heartfelt full, as this was day one of something so very important to her. 

You see, Clarke had pitched an idea to renovate three vacant floors and turn them into a women’s shelter, so to speak. Her plan was to use the three floors to provide resources to women in need such as help, safety, resources and shelter. Marcus passed it off as a pipedream the first time she pitched. Her mother didn’t even make a dent in Marcus’ opinion. He claimed it was out of place and out of character for being in the middle of a massive corporate skyscraper. Clarke used that in her plea, citing that it was the perfect cover of safety for women in need. Eventually, he took the bait and now they were actually going through with the plan. This meeting was just the first one of many to finalize the plan and set things into motion. Bellamy just so happened to be the head of the contracting and construction side of things, as he was the building Safety and Maintenance manager. Monty, a mutual friend, worked for The Ark’s tech team. Maya was new but she was part of the concierge team. She was brought in by Clarke because she vehemently sought to be staffed for the women’s resource center so technically she was the first employee under this specific branch. The Ark would sponsor the company but Clarke would register it as it’s own not-for-profit organization. The name was yet to be determined. 

A few weeks went by and everything was still only on paper. Clarke was itching to get the ball rolling and get things underway so she was a bit more testy than normal. The final meeting went by smoothly. The team hard ironed out every last detail from the construction down to the finish of the trim she wanted on the walls of the lobby. Hell, they even went over whether toilet paper should be mounted on the wall or not in the private apartments. Relieved with the final approval of the plan, she excused everyone. Once she was finished with her own day, she found herself in the service elevator. She had to use a key to access those floors. Once on them, she roamed the empty floors. The previous tenant had owned all three floors which were all part of a medical clinic. It was outfitted for that still, sterile and empty. It was so quiet, but something in her felt so comfortable there. Maybe it was the fact that soon it would be crawling with people, women, their children and the people who desperately wanted to make their lives just a little bit easier and safer. With a smile, she got back into the elevator and descended, to get her in car and go home. 


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know I am a bit late from my normal monthly posting. I'm just not okay right now, but it's okay to not be okay. I hope everyone is well. 
> 
> Here is a new chapter. I will be updating the other fics I have posted as well, enjoy.

Construction was finally underway, or more so demolition. They planned to use as much of the existing floor plan as possible in the new design but naturally some things needed to be changed. They were going from a medical suite to more of a safe house with offices for women's resources. Things had to come down for things to be built up. The end goal was the first floor to remain as a clinic atmosphere with offices and exam rooms. The two floors above that would be living areas, housing, and a common room for laundry and socialization. A place that women and their children could safely live while receiving assistance and resources to find a safe forever home. 

Clarke would go between the three floors being converted at least once a day to check on things and get a sitrep. She also just couldn’t stop her excitement from putting her on auto-pilot. On a day near the end of the demolition phase, Clarke did her rounds before leaving for the day. All of the construction team had already gone home by the time she found herself on the main floor of the project. It smelled dusty but clean and looks bright and open despite the sun dropping beyond the glass panes. 

Her fingertips ran along the first piece of construction for the project, proudly taking in their progress when a voice pulled her out of her happy haze. 

“Hey.” It was him. She nearly cringed but held it back with a long blink instead. 

“Hi.” She replied. 

“I’ll be out of your way in a minute. Don’t go to the back east side, it’s a hazard site at the moment.” He politely warned and for some reason, it bothered her. They existed in the same space for a few minutes while her brain reeled on about why he was there and why he was being civil. Sure, in the years they had known each other they had been civil, enemies, friends, and other random flavors of relationship but the animosity was always the main course. He leaned against the wall by the elevator after pressing the button. Letting her curiosity and frustration toward him build, she finally blurted out what she had been wanting to know. Call it a burst of courage or an outburst of stupidity but her mouth opened.

“Did you ask to be put on this just to make me miserable?” She asked loudly, only a few feet between them. “That is so like you.” 

He was silent but stood still with his eyes boring into her. He was annoyed and his face let her know that until he finally spoke.

“You don’t know shit about me.” His tone bit her down to the bone and she snapped back just as angrily. 

“And you don’t know shit about me either, Bellamy. So fuck off.” That pissed him off, his face reflected something more than anger. 

“You’re right, Clarke.” He pushed off the corner of the elevator. “I don’t know anything about you.” 

“I’m aware.” She bitterly turned her back to him, hoping the elevator doors would open sooner. No such luck. Bellamy moved between her and the door, the space between them painfully narrow. The look on his face was intense and smoldering but not in a sexy, lustful way. He looked hurt and pissed off but determined. 

“I don’t know that your favorite color is blue, and you hate pink.” He stated, moving around her like a bee ready to sting. “I don’t know that you take your coffee black yet your hot chocolate is mostly marshmallow. When you’re feeling spicy you add a dash of cinnamon.” He was ready to continue, but she snapped in his direction. 

“Petty shit. You don’t know why this is so important to me. So leave me the fuck alone.” She was yelling. 

Bellamy nodded, a smirk forming. He looked amused in a volatile way. “You sure about that?” He paused. “Oh, you’re so right. I don’t know anything about you, right? Like how you fell in love with Madi the day you met her. I don’t know anything about how you found her and her mother sleeping in the lobby to get away from her abusive husband and that you helped hide them for weeks before the staff found out and had to kick them out. I don’t know that you paid for their meals every single day and snuck them into a vacant apartment to shower.” Bellamy was barking at her with more passion than she could manage and he stung her eyes, or the threat of tears did. Clarke stood dumbfounded as the elevator dinged open and she moved away from him into it. Bellamy stood in between the two doors, facing her. 

“I hate to tell you this, Princess. But you’re the one that doesn’t know shit. Maybe if you could look outside of your own little world you’d see those around you. This project means just as much to me, so deal with it.” Something sounded like pain in his tone before he moved out of her view. Clarke was stone frozen and the elevator quickly shut, separating them. She wanted to sink to the floor but she held her stance and trembled. The lift moved to another floor, one she’d likely face some stranger. She quickly tried to pull herself together, brushing the pool of liquid off of her lids. She didn’t allow them to fall, she stopped them there with her hand. She managed some semblance of composure as she walked through the lobby and out to the valet. Her car was ready and waiting for her which relieved some of her stress. Having to stand there waiting for it on the verge of an emotional explosion was not something she wanted to add to her agenda. 

Once in the refuge of her car, her trembling chin gave way to a wash of tears. It came out like it has been pent up for years and not just minutes, but maybe it had been. Her crying turned into an angry cry more than one of sadness. She felt humiliated and vulnerable like he had aired her dirty laundry to the entire world when he hadn’t. No. He saw her. He pointed that out with force and fervency that he saw her. That made her so vulnerable. Once she was calmed down enough to drive home, she did just that. 

The next day was odd for her. Mostly her own doing, she avoided just about everyone and was a bit more sulky than normal. She did her job and went home without visiting the site. The day following that she found herself in Marcus’ office. 

“Clarke.” He greeted her warmly. 

“Can I ask you something?” She tested the water. 

“Of course, what is it?” 

“It’s about Bellamy- “ She was cut off. 

“Clarke-” His tone firm and fatherly but she eased his concern. 

“No, not like that. I was just wondering if he volunteered for the project. I’m not trying to cause shit, I promise.” She went from looking at nothing to looking at him with sincerity. 

“I don’t know Clarke.” He questioned her motives. 

“Seriously Marcus.” She used his first name and that proved herself to him. “It’s just something he said the other day made me curious.” 

Marcus studied her and gestured to sit down which she did. 

“He did request the job. I turned him down twice.” Marcus explained. Clarke looked alarmed. 

“Why?” She asked about both the aforementioned statements. 

“I turned him down because you two get on like a divorced couple in the middle of a bitter custody battle.” He explained. “I didn't want that to affect the project and I know how much this means to you.” 

Clarke nodded, absorbing the information when Marcus continued. 

“That is until he told me how much it meant to him.” Kane leaned his elbows on his desk. She could tell he was contemplating sharing with her or not. He looked at her intently, like he was looking for something specific. It made her feel vulnerable again. 

“It’s fine, I don’t need to know.” She let him know, out of respect. It was his story to tell, not Marcus’ and if she wasn’t meant to know then she could respect that. It may annoy her, but that was human nature. 

“Maybe you two could talk like the friends you used to be and he can tell you himself,” Marcus suggested and she rolled her eyes at the idea that they were ever friends. “I’ll never understand what happened between you two to make you guys act like mortal enemies.” He exhausted a sigh and leaned back in his chair. 

“Well,” She stood. “We’ve never been friends, to begin with.” The declaration was true, or so she believed. 

“Don’t make a mess of this, Clarke.” He pleaded like a father, not a boss. She gave him a nod and headed for the door. “Also your mom would like to see you.” 

“I’ll come by tonight.” She smiled and left. 

The rest of her day her conversation with Marcus sat on her mind and she mindlessly went about her tasks. As promised she visited the penthouse that night and had dinner with him and her mother. It was pleasant and took her mind off of her quarrel with Bellamy. 

Come the weekend, Clarke found herself in a bar with her friend Harper who also happened to be in a long term relationship with Monty. The girls were dressed casually nursing mixed drinks as they caught up and unwound from their weeks. 

“Enough about me, or better yet Jordan.” Harper laughed. “How are you?” 

“I’m good.” She simply stated. 

“When you come in and say you had a weird week, you can’t pass ‘good’ off as a reply to me Griffin. Nice try.” Harper pressed her confidently. 

Clarke hesitated before she found the right words. “I had a run-in with Bellamy.” 

The other blonde perked up and leaned in, waiting for more. Harper and Clarke went to high school together and have been friends for longer than she has known the Blakes. So she’s been around through everything Clarke has ever shared about the Blakes, or particularly Bellamy. She had even met him a few times and knew the dreamboat to be a main antagonist in her friend's life so topics of him were always fun ones. 

“Don’t get your hopes up. It was a spat, not some secret love session.” Clarke rolled her eyes at HArper. 

“Shame. One day I’ll get my soap opera ending.” She huffed playfully but got serious. “What actually happened?” She sipped her cocktail. 

A heavy sigh leads to her explanation. “I may have accused him of signing up for the project to spite me.” Her face cringed at the vocalization of events and Harper shared the remorse on her face. 

“Right, and how did he respond?” 

“Angrily. It turned into a sparring match of words.” She didn’t want to get into detail but Harper wouldn’t give her that free out. 

“I need more here.” As expected, Harper demanded. 

“He said I don’t know him and I got bitchy and barked back. Turns out he knows a lot more about me than I would have guessed. He laid it out like known the smallest things about me for a lifetime.” She looked uneasy. “I won't lie, it broke me down.” 

Harper put her hand over Clarkes and reasoned with her. “Honey, he does know you. You practically lived at his house for a year. You guys used to be friends.” 

Clarke pulled her hand away and looked angry. “No, we have never been friends. We’ve never gotten along.” She declared. Harper looked unconvinced but didn’t push it. 

“Have you talked since?” She asked, turning the topic off of friendship. Clarke shook her head. 

“Are you going to?” She then quickly added, “For the sake of the project, of course.” 

Clarke’s head fell back and she looked at the dingy ceiling for a moment while thinking. 

“I probably should.” She sighed and righted her head again. Harper silently nodded and the girls turned the topic back to Harper’s life. They fawned over Jordan who was only three and still a saintly little tot. After a few more drinks they left and enjoyed dinner together before ending their girls day out. Once back at home in sweats, Clarke sat against her headboard, her legs to her side. Her painted finger scrolled through her Facebook feed when she scrolled past a post from Octavia. It was a throwback photo of her first day at a fitness boot camp some years ago. Proudly beside her was Bellamy. He looked slightly thinner and boyish in the photo but had to be in his mid-twenties. Seeing him pulled her curiosity back to the front and she mindlessly scrolled to her contacts. 

‘Butthead’ was the label she stopped on, her finger hovering on the text message icon. She hovered far longer than reasonable before shutting the screen off and tossing her phone. She couldn’t justify reaching out to him when they hadn’t texted in moon ages, let alone the fact that she really shouldn’t even have his number. She only did because it was her job to have contact info on hand for the head of every department in the building. His name just happened to be saved under something childish rather than professional. Frustrated, she pulled out a sketchpad and got lost in graphite.


	3. Chapter 3

Lunchtime had come and gone without Clarke stopping to eat. She spent her day with the construction team making sure everything was triple checked for what went where. Most of the morning went by in a blur and she had likely annoyed everyone on the team. Surprisingly, Bellamy was nowhere to be found. She couldn’t complain though, she didn’t want to deal with him. 

In the pocket of her suit pants, her phone dinged twice. “Excuse me.” She pardoned herself from the three men she had been standing by. Stepping away enough to be respectful she pulled her phone out and checked her notifications. Kane was beckoning her.  _ Hmm.  _ She slid her phone back into her pocket and went for the elevator. Five minutes later she was walking through the main office space to the back where his office was housed. She wrapped on the door lightly and entered without being told to. 

“Clarke.” Marcus sounded… she couldn’t place it. She wasn’t sure if he was irritated, upset, or maybe tired? 

“You wanted to see me?” She acted how she always did at work with him - professionally. 

“Have you seen Mr. Blake today?” His tone was annoyed now. 

She shook her head. “No, why? Is something wrong?” She was genuinely concerned. 

He huffed. “Clarke, be honest with me. Did you two have another spat?” She couldn’t tell if her boss was asking or her pseudo stepfather. 

“Marcus, I’m not lying. I haven’t seen him at all today and I’ve been down on the project floor the entire day. What is going on?” She dropped her hip, shifting her weight. Now Clarke was annoyed. 

He sighed and sat down in his chair, not looking away from Clarke. She could tell he was reading her and she was being as candid as could be. 

“What’s going on?” She repeated the question. 

“Bellamy backed out of the project about twenty minutes ago.” His words hit her wrong and she didn’t know how to feel. Logically she told herself she should be relieved but she wasn’t. She was annoyed and almost felt guilty. Not sure what to say, she shook her head as she thought instead. 

“Are you su-” 

“Seriously?” She looked angry now. “Don’t blame me for this. I haven’t seen him since what, Wednesday.” Her statement made them both check the date to see that it was Tuesday. 

“Okay. I’ll deal with it, get back to work.” He sighed and released her without so much as an apology for assuming this was her doing. When the elevator doors slid to a close, she hit one button on the panel. It wasn’t the floor she should go to or the one she came from. No, it was the twenty-fifth floor. A floor she was rarely on as it housed the security offices as well as maintenance.

When the elevator came to a stop and dinged to the doors opening, Clarke was met with a glass office. It was akin to every other level of offices in the building. She pulled open the heavy glass panel door and walked up to the desk. 

“Miss Griffin.” The girl at the desk looked surprised. She knew her as Mel. 

Clarke put on a fake smile. “Hey, is Mr. Blake around?” She asked. The girl looked to her computer for a moment and checked what she could only assume was a schedule. 

“Uhm.” She studied her screen. “He’s scheduled to be on floor thirty.” She looked back to Clarke and frowned when she saw the irritation on Clarke’s face. 

“Well, he’s not. He hasn’t been all day. Are you sure he’s not up here?” She asked a bit rudely. Her frustration wasn’t with the girl and she knew that.

“I can check his office,” Mel suggested but Clarke didn’t let her. 

“Where is it?”

“Oh uh.” Mel stood from the desk and pointed down the left hallway behind her. “End of the hall, take a right, a left and it’ll be the big one in the corner,” Mel explained and Clarke set off before the girl had finished speaking. She pathed through the hallways, offices stacked up. Sleek metal and glass everywhere. When she approached the office in the corner, the door was shut and the blinds were drawn to a close. His name was on the wall beside the door in black lettering. A gulp of air later, she lifted her hand and knocked a bit too soft. 

Silence answered her, so she knocked a little harder and more annoyed now than before. 

“Come in.” His voice caught her by surprise. She was sure he just wasn’t there at all today. Like he had skipped work entirely. Clarke wrapped her fingers around the handle and took a moment to relax before turning the handle down and pushing the door open. He sat behind his desk in a black suit, the jacket hung on a hook near her at the door and his black tie loosened. It was different from what she was used to. He was normally in the maintenance uniform which was a pair of black work pants and a medium gray short-sleeved button-down. The last time she had seen him dressed like that was… she didn’t want to remember. 

“Clarke?” He looked up from his laptop. “What are you doing here?” 

“Looking for you, what else?” She replied dryly. 

“Okay. Let’s try this again.” He closed his laptop and put full focus on her, looking professional and damn good doing it. “ How can I help you?” 

Clarke moved into the room and shut the door behind her. As she turned back to him she thought she saw a look of concern on his face for a fleeting moment but she didn’t know. Now all she saw was an annoyed Bellamy Blake sitting at his desk staring her down. She moved closer to the desk, her hands on the back of the chair in front of it. 

She didn’t know how to start and part of her felt like she was doing something she shouldn’t be doing but that didn’t stop her. It never did. “What to explain to me why you weren’t on the project floor all day?” She asked as if she had the right to question his absence. Technically, by her position, she kind of did but in reality, they both knew she didn’t. 

“I’ve been busy.” He lied. Oh, he lied and it made her mad. Why it made her mad, she didn’t know but she was pissed. 

“Yeah? A janitor throw a fit or something?” Her tone was rude and he wasn’t going to put up with it. 

“Really, Princess?” He stood up and faced her. Only four feet between their noses. “You know damn well I do more than just maintenance. If you have nothing else to do, find someone else to fuck with.” 

She huffed and moved for the door, not up for his attitude. But as she reached it she realized she was the one who needed an attitude check. She sighed to herself and turned back to him. 

“Why did you quit the project?” His face went pale at her question and her body language looked defeated. 

“How did-” He stopped himself and nodded. “Kane.” He resigned and sat back down. 

Mhm. Clarke hummed and nodded. 

“Look, Clarke, I didn’t join the project to mess with you and I didn’t leave it for your benefit either.”

“I know.” She spoke softly and he looked at her, confused as hell but realizing Kane must have told her. Just as he went to speak she beat him to it. 

“Not everything. Kane told me you fought to get on this project and then he pretty much accused me of pushing you off of it.” She sighed and finally decided to sit down. The chair was oddly comfortable for being so boxy. 

He ran a hand down his face and leaned onto his elbows. “ So you’re either here to yell at me about something, press me for details, or thank me for fucking off.” He cocked his head. 

She didn’t reply. She sat there battling between snapping at him and leaving or prying for more. What came out of her mouth next surprised even her. “Bellamy, I’m sorry okay?” 

He looked shocked. 

“I just-” She was flustered. “Look, we’ve never gotten along. We’ve coexisted for a long time. When he said you were on the team for this, I just thought-” 

“You thought the worst.” He finished her sentence. 

“Yeah.” She whispered with a nod. 

“You’re wrong though.” His words made her focus on him with anger panging her gut. One thing she never liked was being told she was wrong, let alone by Bellamy fucking Blake. 

“Excuse me?” She asked. 

“You’re wrong. Saying we’ve never gotten along. We used to be friends.” He reassured her.

“What. We’ve never been friends, Bellamy.” 

He sighed angrily. “Do you remember when Finn broke your heart and you came over hoping Mom or Octavia would be there?” He asked and she nodded. 

“Octavia stayed up all night with me.” She declared. 

He shook his head looking more frustrated than ever. “No, Clarke. Octavia let you in and when she got a phone call from her little boyfriend, she left you alone the rest of the night. And it wasn’t Mom because she wasn’t home. I stayed up with you all night. We watched movies and played video games and you laughed for hours until you finally fell asleep on the couch. You woke up in Octavia’s bed though, because I put you there.” 

Clarke looked bewildered and racked her brain for that memory. Her face went through years of memories until she finally landed on that one. Her expression softened and her mouth fell open. He was right. She remembered. They left pizza bites in the oven and burned them because they were in an epic battle on Mario Kart. It was a mess and they ended up ordering pizza. Waking up from her stroll down memory lane, her face flushed the red brighter than it had ever been in her life. 

“Yep.” He monopolized her revelation. “You seem to forget any decent memory you’ve ever had that I may be a part of.” 

“That’s not true.” She said, trying to defend herself from this new lowness she was feeling. 

“It is though, but it’s fine. You may not think we got along, but we did. We clearly don’t now, for whatever reason. So I backed off of the project. I don’t want to upset you and cause any hiccups in the project.” His reasoning sat with her and warmth flooded her. She almost felt like crying but she didn’t let herself get there. She couldn’t stop her chin from trembling though and she only hoped he didn’t notice it. 

“Bellamy, I-” 

“Don’t.” He waved his hand up. “It’s fine. I’m also sorry. I shouldn’t have bitten your head off like I did but God be damned if you don’t piss me off.” He was candid and it made her feel worse. 

“I’m sorry.” She mumbled again and he looked at her with a look she’d never seen before. She couldn’t read it but it pulled on every fiber of her heart. They sat in silence for a few minutes before he finally said anything. 

“Back when you knew me, knew my family. You didn’t know what was really going on.” He began and she quietly listened. “Mom was into a bad world. Every man she ever met treated her like shit and she let them abuse her because she thought she had no other way. That’s why she was never home at night. The house we lived in, dirty money. The clothes she bought us, everything.” He looked devastated as he spoke and he turned away from her.

Tears threatened to breach her own waterline at the reality of what he was saying. She had no idea he had to endure seeing his mom pretty much sell herself for their survival. 

“The worst of it was how she brushed it all off like it was okay. I saw the bruises, I knew what was happening and I spent all of my energy protecting Octavia from it.” 

“I had no idea.” She sat up in her chair as if it would pull her closer to him. She had this sudden urge to comfort him. 

“I know, and you couldn’t have known. But now you do and now I’m sure you can understand why your project is important to me too.” 

She nodded. “I do, and I’m sorry. Honestly, I know you told me it’s fine but I am. I shouldn’t have attacked you and so selfishly. I guess you’re right, I blocked out a lot of old memories. Good and bad.” She reasoned. 

“We all do that, some just more than others.” It was a light jab and it almost made her smile. 

“Will you please come back on board with the project?” She asked. He looked at her uneasily, as if he was about to fight her on it. “Please.” She repeated. 

He sighed yet again. “Okay” was all he said. 

She gave a curt nod. “Good.” 

“Yeah.” 

The room felt awkward now. So much so that she uneasily rubbed her hands into the arms of the chair. “Right, so I’ll go now.” She stood and moved to the door. 

“Hey, Clarke?” He asked, standing up himself. She turned to look at him. “Thank you.” With that she shared a small smile and left his office, clicking the door behind her. A lot weighed on her as she walked down that hall for the second time. In the flurry of feelings and thoughts, she felt relieved for the outcome of their chat but anxious for what that meant. He’d be back on the project, at her blessing. On top of that part of her was flustered and upset for having forgotten that memory. Something so important to her back when she was only seventeen. Something that felt like the end of the world and the person to keep her from burning down in flames with it really had been Bellamy. So now she was also curious as to how things got the way they did with him. When did they become enemies, or frenemies, or whatever the hell they were? Drowning in thought she stepped into the elevator and let the doors close, almost forgetting to press a button. 


	4. Chapter 4

The rest of the week went by too quickly, but in the back of her mind, she couldn’t help the constant nagging that she was missing memories. Blake insisted they had been friends, and sure, she could recall the night Finn ruined her world as a teenager, but outside of that, she couldn’t think of anything that justified that claim. Friends. It made her mull over her memories of him, like the smug leadership battle at the camp program. The duo was assigned a shared leadership role for the annual Junkyard Battle. It was their team versus another. Each team had to use junk, leftover scraps, and crafting resources to create something unique and functioning. It could be anything. Most people made catapults, pulley system dumbwaiters, or boxcars. Clarke felt those were fine ideas, they could just do them better than before. Bellamy however pushed the group for creativity and they clashed heads. He boasted her lack of creativity wasn’t going to make them win, and she declared his outlandish ideas would make them run out of time. Eventually, the met in the middle and built a boxcar, of sorts. Theirs was a peddle-car with a small lemonade stand built on the back. A mobile lemonade stand. It was a very easy win against a generic catapult that snapped before it could even launch a pumpkin. Smiling, she remembered their celebration. The whole group was elated and they all dove into the lake to celebrate in their dirty work clothes. Bellamy lifted her up like a bride and groom, threatening to throw her in. He never did though, instead he jumped in, her in his arms. Her face fell suddenly, feeling odd about that memory. So maybe they did get along once. 

Now she sat wondering what else she was missing, and she knew one person who could help her fill in some gaps. She pulled her phone off of the end table and scrolled through the contacts. Nearing the end of the list, one tap and she was listening to ringing. 

“Hello?” The voice asked. 

“Hey O.” Clarke said nervously. 

“No way. If it isn’t Clarke fucking Griffin.” Octavia sounded surprised but in a happy way. 

“How have you been?” She treaded lightly. 

“Pretty good. Just got married.” Octavia explained. 

“I saw on Facebook, he’s gorgeous,” Clarke spoke candidly and Octavia proudly laughed.

“I know right?” 

“Congratulations, by the way,” Clarke added. 

“Thanks. What about you? What is going on in your world? You never post.” 

Clarke sighed. “Yeah, I never got the hang of social media. Not my thing I guess. You know me, I love a good face-to-face.” 

“True.”

“... But yeah life has been busy. Work is busy.” Clarke explained, realizing her only life was her work life. 

“No love?” Octavia boldly pried. 

Clarke chuckled. “No, no love. I don’t date.”

“I’m not surprised. Dating sucks, it’s like a box of Lucky Charms with only one marshmallow in it.” The girls both laughed at how absurd and relatable that metaphor was. 

“So hey, I called because I kind of have a question.” 

“Yeah? Shoot.” Octavia expressed. 

“So, as you know I work with your brother. Now more than ever, we’re working on on the same project together-”

“Oh I bet that will go well.” Octavia snarked. Clarke could almost hear the other girl rolling her eyes. 

“I mean… anyways. You know us. We already went head to head and Bellamy made some claims that I just can’t back up. I figured you’d be able to fill in blanks for me.” 

“I’m confused, about what?” Octavia asked. 

“Well, your brother claims we used to be friends.” Clarke huffed. No reaction from Octavia though had her confused. 

“You were.” She finally said. 

“What?” Clarke was bewildered. 

“You all but broke up with me when I hung you out to dry the night Finn fucked you over. You pretty much replaced me with Bell that night. It didn’t last long, mind you. I don’t know why, but yeah. You two were close.” Octavia was so casual, but to Clakre this was alarming information. 

“I don’t remember any of that…” 

“Oh well, Finn-”

“No, not that. I remember that night. Finn broke my heart and I came over. Bellamy said he stayed up with me all night when you went to talk to a boyfriend.” 

“Mhm,” was all Octavia said. 

“So that part is true, fine. I don’t understand how that turned into me being buddy-buddy with your asshole brother, or you just not being my friend anymore.” Clarke explained. 

“Well we were friends, but Bellamy became your best friend. You were mad at me, justifiably. I think you used my brother against me because kids will be kids, but it stuck in some weird way. You two had some epic bond there.” Octavia added more information and Clarke brewed on it.

“Okay, even if that is the case, how did we end up where we are now? I can’t stand him and he can’t stand me.” She thought out loud. Octavia hesitated on the other end of the line. 

“Well,” Octavia lead. “Bell started dating this girl, Roma. All I remember was when that happened, you two fell apart and then you ended up with that Lexa girl. Looks to me like-”

“Don’t finish that.” Clarke bid and Octavia failed miserably at hiding her laugh. 

“I’m just saying. It’s like you two went from enemies to married best friends, to bitterly divorced in just under a year’s time.” She suggested. Clarke was thinking about it silently. 

“Why don’t you two actually talk about it if it’s bothering you? I can only fill in what parts I know. What happened is between you two and was a long ass time ago which is maybe why you don’t remember. I bet he does. I don’t think he ever forgets anything.” O added, trying to make Clarke feel better about the information and confusion she was clearly in. 

“Yeah, I don’t know. Sorry for asking such an out of the blue thing.” She finally chuckled. 

“It’s fine. I’m glad you called, we should catch up sometime when I’m in the city next. I’ll be there in March and pretty much all of May.” 

“I’d love to see you when you’re here, just hit me up whenever. Outside of work I’m always free.” She explained. 

“Sounds like a plan. Well, it was nice hearing from you Clarke. I hope you figure out what memories you’re missing.” 

“Thanks, O. Me too. I’ll see you next time you’re in the city.” 

“It’s a date. Bye!” 

“Bye.” Clarke barely got out before Octavia hung up. Her call had left her more confused than before and led to the rest of her night deep-diving social media from the past. She looked up Roma, not remembering her last name. She vaguely recalled thinking it was stupid and fitting for the girl's personality. It took an hour to find her and she nodded at her screen when she saw the last name Bragg. That clicked and made her laugh. Poor girl didn’t choose her name but she did live up to it back in the day. Roma was boisterous and haughty. Nothing on her social media had anything to do with Bellamy, in fact, it was inactive for at least six years. So that was a dead end. 

The wormhole that is social media took her down memory lane, but none that involved Bellamy. She ended up looking up so many people she knew from high school and old crushes. It was something she hadn’t done in years and no one's lives had changed remarkably. A few people had married or divorced. Harper’s feed was flooded with pictures of baby Jordan, all of which Clarke had seen in person. She even saw Raven Reyes was friends with Monty, her co-worker, and Harper’s husband. Curiosity killed the cat, and she clicked the brunette's name. Raven looked busy, by her feed. A long list of jobs and companies, a few of which didn’t have end dates. No relationship and a smattering of photos with different guys. She always looks so happy compared to her lonely selfies. Clarke wondered how life had gone for her after what happened. Raven was the girl Finn broke Clarke’s heart with, and vice versa for Raven. See, he was playing them both and they found out the hard way. They never could hate one another because it was all his doing. Not a year later, they found out Finn had died. Raven called Clarke out of the blue, having not spoken to her since the breakups. They bonded more in that one phone call that most people did in a lifetime, but never made a friendship out of it. She could remember that easily, but why did she block out everything with Bellamy? Finn’s story was tragic, as was her father's passing and she didn’t block those out. 

Tired of the downward spiral of social media, Clarke finally tossed her phone aside and flopped over on her sofa. She stared up at the white popcorn ceiling pondering her conundrum before dozing off to enjoy a midday nap.


End file.
